


Well, I- I love you

by elliott (amywaited)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Admit, Angst, Cute, Full Moon, LGBT, M/M, Violent, Werewolf, heal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12623920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amywaited/pseuds/elliott
Summary: Sirius gets increasingly worried about Remus, and finally admits why.just 2k words of fluff and angst and wolfstar





	Well, I- I love you

**Author's Note:**

> a wolfstar oneshot now? Ell what are you doing, writing these instead of ur fucking novel.

"Ugh!" Remus yelled. "Why do you feel the need to wrap me in cotton wool?"

"I don't!" Sirius yelled back. "I just care for you!"

"You over care! You stopped me from drinking one beer even though I'm over age and can make my own decisions!"

"But you were driving! What if something happened?"

"Oh, my God," Remus said. "I can't believe it. I'm my own fucking person, Sirius. You'd do well to remember that," He said, stalking out the gryffindor common room, to James's silence and Peter's dropped jaw.

"Remus, wait!"

Remus turned and groaned. "What now? You wanna have a go at me for leaving my homework to the last minute and risking detention? Or drinking one too many cups of coffee at breakfast?"

"No- Remus- I just-"

"You just what? You know what, Sirius, just leave me alone. Don't talk to me until you've realised that I can make my own decisions. Okay?"

"Remus-"

"I quit, okay? I quit! You guys can take me off the map. And I'll find a different dorm and everything, okay? I'll wait until you've fucking grown up."

Remus stalked out the common room, leaving Sirius blinking away tears behind him.

Remus blinked away his own tears, ones that obscured his own vision and then dripped down his cheeks as his eyes overflowed. God, he was so weak and pathetic.

This was the only way to prove he didn't need them. He didn't need to bother anyone.

Ever again. 

"Why," James said, "Did you guys have to fight on the one night Remus needs us?"

Sirius sniffled. "I dunno. Guess he'll have to manage, like he says he wants to."

"Sirius. Come on."

"No, James, you heard him. He doesn't need us, does he? No, no he doesn't."

Sirius choked back a sob and ran up to his dorm. 

The sun was setting by the time Remus saw Sirius again. it was at dinner, he had walked into the great hall and seen James and Sirius eating together, and consequently decided he didn't want to forgive Sirius quite yet, so he promptly spun on his heel and strode out the doors. Sirius had then stood up and ran after Remus, ignoring everyone's nosy stares.

He didn't catch Remus up.

Remus was glad he didn't, as he peered down at Sirius from the little nook only he had ever found. The one in the roof with the little trapdoor, and Sirius didn't know where he had gone, so he sighed defeatedly and shuffled off.

Remus stayed up there quite a while, actually. It was beginning to get dark by the time he was catapulted out of his thoughts and jolted back to reality. He thought perhaps it'd be time to get out of the way, so he snuck out the front door. The best way to avoid getting caught was to go in plain sight, was something James had drilled into the Marauders since first year.

Ugh, Remus wished Sirius hadn't been such an arse so he could have his friends for this night.

He was stuck for five minutes outside the Whomping Willow, wondering how exactly he'd active it without Pete.

Remus solved that problem by shooting a carefully aimed stunning spell at the button.

He could already feel the changes happening as he ran through the corridor as fast as he could. By the time he got into the shack, he was bounding more then running.

The transformation really took over then, with the full moonlight streaming through the windows.

The people of Hogsmeade were probably traumatized, thought Remus, stuck in the back of his head as the wolf took over.

He didn't have his friends here, which made things about ten times harder. No one to stop him. The wolf had already started ripping down the curtains and tearing up the floorboards without Remus realising. Of course, when the wolf took over, actual Remus was pushed to the back of his own brain.

Well, when the transformation happened, it wasn't really his brain anymore. 

 

Dawn was breaking.

Remus hadn't realised the night had passed so quickly, until he realised it was because he had knocked up himself unconscious, or something.

He tried to move, to get up, leaning up on his left arm, before collapsing and trying hard not to scream. Great, another scar. There was still tacky blood around the horrifically deep cut, deeper then Remus ever remembered.

It had been a while since it''d been this bad a night. He could feel another couple of cuts on his own arms and legs, some deep, some shallow and others in between. There was one that was still leaking blood.

Remus sighed heavily, half out of pain and half out of exasperation. Of course he'd go this bad without his friends.

His friends. Why had he even got into that stupid argument with Sirius in the first place? Sirius was just being.. caring. And Remus needed him to be overprotective right about now.

His head was getting fuzzy again, and the only thought on his mind was Sirius and how apologetic he felt when he collapsed again. Could he call it collapsing, if he was already lying down?

 

 

Remus hadn't been in lessons yet, and it was already halfway to lunch, was something Sirius hadn't held back from saying at any opportunity that arose. He said it when he woke up, when he was leaving his first class, and when he was going to second. He whispered it to James about three times a minute until James slapped him.

"Right, after third, I'm going down there," Sirius decided, and promptly told James.

"You sure Remus will want to see you, mate? We did kind of.. leave him last night."

"I know, but I have to go see if he's okay. You gonna come?"

"'Course I am," James said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Lets go now."

Sirius shrugged. "And miss Transfiguration?"

"Its a bit of a useless subject anyway," James reasoned. "Minnie will understand. She knows about Remus, anyway."

"Mate, Transfiguration is your favourite subject."

"I'll get McGoogs to tell me what we missed after dinner," James said. "It'll be fine, lets go."

Thats how they found themselves trekking down the tunnel, half an hour later, bickering.

"You know, if you had just done what I had suggested then we could have been a lot quicker," Sirius said.

"You told me to throw my glasses at the knob," James exclaimed. "I would have missed, because I can't see without my glasses."

"I could have thrown them."

"I still wouldn't be able to see, you witch."

Sirius snorted. "You could have managed."

"I don't think I would have done," James said. "You would have had to leave me behind."

The walk felt like it took twice as long.

 

By the time they had finally, finally, reached the end and clambered into the Shrieking Shack, they saw the damage immediately.

"Oh, Merlin," Sirius breathed.

"We are officially," James whispered, "The worst friends."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Come on, we have to find him. Split up?"

"Bad idea, stick together. If he's in an even worse condition, we'll need the two of us."

"If he's in that bad a condition, he'll need us to find him quicker. Split up?" Sirius repeated the question.

"Fine. You go up, I'll stay down," James said. "Shout.. Shout 'bollyhog' if you find him."

"Bollyhog?" Sirius snorted. "Whatever. Lets go."

James nodded. "If we can't find him, meet back here."

"Worst case scenario," Sirius said, already wandering off upstairs.

He could hardly bare to look into each room properly. The curtains were all ripped to shreds, nails pulled out of the walls and floor boards torn up. There were smears of blood smudged everywhere. Dark blood, tacky, drying blood.

Sirius was almost horrified of what sort of state he'd find Remus in.

He poked his head in the last room, hardly expecting anything to be in there, but Sirius found himself having to swallow bile.

"James," he shouted, "Bollyhog!" He said hoarsely. James came running up the stairs, all loud pattering feet and puffing breaths.

"Where?"

"In- In there," Sirius pointed to the doorway. "Its horrible."

James tiptoed in and Sirius could hear his sharp intake of breath. "We should have been there."

"I know," Sirius said, following James in. "But come on, we have to heal him."

"Remus was the only one who could do the sort of advanced healing spells cuts like these need," James said. "And he obviously isn't in the sort of state where he could do it himself." He gestured to the still unconscious boy.

"We should try to wake him up," Sirius said. I just need to see his eyes, Sirius thought.

"Okay," James shrugged and held his wand over Remus's face. "Augamenti."

A shot of water spewed from the tip of his wand and splashed over Remus, who sat up suddenly and coughed. Then winced, and groaned.

"Shit," He murmured. "What the fuck was that for?"

James grinned apologetically and quickly cast a hot air charm. The sudden drenching and drying made Remus's naturally wavy hair curl up suddenly.

"Glad to see you're up, mate," James said. "We would have cast your healing charms, but you're the only who can do them well enough."

"Of course I am," Remus said dryly. "Couldn't you have cast a cleaning spell and got all this dried blood off me?"

"Can't do them either, mate."

Sirius was being unnaturally quiet, just fiddling with his wand and his hair and the hem of his shirt.

"You alright, Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Yeah! I was just.. worried.. about you.."

"He was talking my ear off about it in lessons earlier," James remarked. "'Oh, Remus hasn't been in lessons yet, James!' 'Remus wasn't at breakfast, James!' 'James, James, James'."

Sirius shoved James lightly. "No, I wasn't. Don't listen to him, Moony."

"Wheres Wormtail?" Remus asked, picking some of the dried blood off his arm.

"Still at Hogwarts," James said.

"Didn't he want to come?"

"Sirius here was fretting so much, we left right away."

"I wasn't fretting!" Sirius exclaimed. "'Sides, you're the one missing Transfiguration for this."

Remus chuckled, "So how bad is it?" He asked.

"How bad's what?" Sirius asked.

Remus gestured to the house, and then himself. "What damage did I inflict."

"Um," James said, "Well."

"Its, uh, not pretty," Sirius said. 

Remus sighed, heavily. "Where's my wand?"

Sirius handed it to him, from when he'd picked it up in the tunnel. "Must have fallen out on your way here."

Remus took it and their finger tips brushed. Sirius felt like setting his face on fire. But Sirius Black did not blush.

"Can I leave you guys to make your own way back?" James said, checking his watch. "I want to see if I can make the last few minutes of Transfiguration."

Sirius chuckled. "Good luck running through the tunnel."

"Thanks," James said. "Feel better Remus. See you both in the Great Hall at lunch?"

"Of course," Remus said.

And with that, James took off.

"Do you, uh, need any help with the healing spells?" Sirius asked.

"I thought you couldn't do them," Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't trust myself to do them on you," Sirius mumbled.

"What?"

Sirius sighed. "Nothing. I can do them better then James."

Remus waited to see if Sirius would expand, before picking up his wand and tracing it along one of his deeper cuts. "Vulnera Sanentur," he incanted, avoiding Sirius's eyes.

"Uh, Remus?"

Remus looked up from his spells.

"Look," Sirius started, "I'm sorry for wrapping you in cotton wool."

Remus smiled and looked back down at his arm. "Its okay." He cast again.

"No, I really am. I know that you don't need me to be an- an overprotective arsehole."

"You're damn right," Remus said, a little distracted.

"I just.. really care about you," Sirius said in a rush. "Like, a lot. And I'm not used to it. I'm not used to caring this much about one person and I don't know really how to express those feelings. I suppose I'm not good at expressing feelings in general but I know I made a mistake in- in babying you just because I care about you."

"Sirius, really, its fine. I get why you would be so worried about me," Remus said. "Stuff like this," he said, "happens on a monthly basis with me."

"And I'm really sorry for- for leaving you last night."

Remus cast an 'Episky' on his smallest, and last cut. "Its okay."

"Its not."

"Look, I'm okay now, right?" Remus said. "Don't be sorry for caring."

"Give me your arms," Sirius said, and once Remus had, he cast 'Tergeo' on them.

"I could have done that," Remus said.

Sirius let his grip fall to Remus's hands. "I did it for you."

Remus smiled.

"Uh, Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I- Uh- The reason I care about you so much is because- well, because I love you."

 

 

A note : Vulnera Sanentur is a spell to heal deep cuts (like ones from the Sectumsempra curse  
Episkey heals minor grazes, like broken noses and split lips  
Tergeo is a spell to clean dried blood off of a wound  
Auguamenti is a spell to summon a flow of water from your wand  
Just in case you didn't know what all the spells I talked about in this were. I had to do my research too!

**Author's Note:**

> nonetheless, i hope u enjoyed. slightly longer then my solangelo one. also you should check out my [tumblr](https://spideysstark.tumblr.com). its p cool.  
> i hope you liked this. i like kudos, and comments and also hugs. but hugs are hard through screens, so comment to express your emotion instead! no pressure.  
> love youu  
> keep being awesome!


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